I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
