we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
