Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
