ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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