She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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