My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
