You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
