What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Success! We fucked roommates!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
