Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
