If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
