I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
