When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
