yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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