Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
