The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
