How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
