Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Come on in and take your pants off
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