Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
