theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
