Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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