You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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