Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
