I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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