I hate all girls vehemently.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
