in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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