Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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