he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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