You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
