just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
