Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize