You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
