we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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