One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
