I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
