I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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