so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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