You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
