I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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