It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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