Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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