you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
