Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
