He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
