sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
