I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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