He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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