one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
then he tried to convert me to islam
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
