walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
