I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
