I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
