i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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